Awkward Anecdotes

written 12/5/2020, updated 9/28/2025

An on-going log of embarrassing memories.

~Doorway Dance – The building manager for the office building I work in is a tall man with a huge belly. We nicknamed him “Belly Man.” He’s a single guy in his late 50s or so and he’s, in a word, kind of creepy. He’s nice enough and means well, but if you were to see him about, people get afraid. He reminds me of a big troll. He likes me and is my patient which makes everything awkward. Sometimes, I swear he watches me on the camera because suddenly he’s there to open the building door for me the moment I round the corner. Anyways, as I was ascending the stairs one day, I hear his voice talking to someone else, but I’m committed and keep going up. There he is in the doorway I need, so I saw hi. From the outside of the door (it swings inwards towards me in the stairwell), he’s trying to hold it open for me except that his BELLY IS TOO BIG and now have this super small space to try and squeeze through. My bag is really big, too, so I’m trying to figure out how to squeeze through that little triangle of space. I make it through, but he finally realizes that his belly is too big, so as I go through, he kind of spins around like a ballerina or a revolving door, hands in the air. He says something that I can’t hear because I died 18 lives from cringe and hurry into my office. UUUGGGH.

~Hair Pluck – I was working on a patient who has been difficult in the past, but likes me. Regardless, there’s a level of anxiety working on her. I was finishing up, wiping away any paste I got on her face. There had been a hair on her lip that I’d noticed but had failed to subtley brush away (sometimes perhaps my hair or the patients hair falls on them). It was a pretty long, thick hair, about 2-3 inches long and blond (therefore NOT mine). Finally, I just went ahead and tugged on it quickly, afraid that she’d feel it and notice a hair on her face. Turns out, it was connected to her lip mole and she flinched when I pulled. SUPER EMBARRASSED, I ran out of the room to “go get the doctor.” As a side note, the next time I saw her a few years later, she no longer had it on her face.

~I can’t see – When I was still in high school, I went with my mom to Chick-fil-a to order food. It was our turn and she asked me what I wanted. I had trouble seeing the menu because I didn’t have my glasses on, so I remembered that if you narrow your field of vision, your acuity increases slightly, and used both of my hands cupped like binoculars over my eyes. My mom jabbed me really hard and hissed at me to stop that. She was embarrassed and my mom rarely gets embarrassed! At first I was annoyed, but then it dawned on me how weird that looked. And Chick-fil-a is usually quite crowded. Oops.

~Duhhhh – I was sitting in front of my high school with my brother waiting to be picked up. We were both playing games on our graphic calculators because this was before cell phones were widespread and well before smart phones (pay phones were a thing in schools!). A woman, clearly a mom, walks up to us and asks if we knew where the Japanese Club was meeting. Of course I knew, I took Japanese class! It was just inside the cafeteria and I wanted to tell her as much, except…all that came out of my mouth was, “Duh, duh, duh, duh.” I looked wildly around while these sounds were coming out of my mouth and begged my brother for help with my eyes. His eyes were firmly glued to his calculator and a smirk plastered on his face. The woman hightailed it out of there without another word and I was left going, WTF just happened?? My brother promptly busted out laughing and I’m sure the woman thought I was a special needs student.

~Butt poke – When I was very very small and about the height of people’s butts, we were shopping at Sears at the mall in the clothes section. I used to like to hide inside the clothes racks. Well, when I came out, I went looking for my mom who’d gone somewhere. That’s when I saw her with her back to me, those familiar purple leggings she wore in front of me. I went and poked her butt hard with my little finger. An old lady turned around and it was definitely NOT my mom. I started crying right away and I don’t really remember what happened after that except I was old enough to feel very embarrassed and that I was eventually reunited with my mom.

~Gift – A co-worker of mine was leaving for greener pastures and on her last day he brought in gifts for everyone. I had completely forgotten. She gave me mine and I thanked her and when I went to put it in my bag I remembered the dog-a-day desk calendar I’d been meaning to bring and happily brought it out. As I was unwrapping it in front of this co-worker I was excitedly telling her about meaning to bring the thing in for a while. It wasn’t until I was putting it on operatory that I realized that she was expecting me to have brought her a gift. Ooops. Got her a fruit box delivery soon thereafter.

~Wedding Card – There was a point in my life where I was very proud of writing poems. My co-worker was getting married and I wrote her a poem inside of a card. Here’s what it said:

I wish you love,
I say congrats,
Like a glove,
Like nice hats,
You fit like glue
No longer one but two.

I was super proud of it but when she was reading it, I got a sinking feeling in my gut that the last part sounded totally wrong. I meant like, she was no longer single but double. Instead it sounded like they were breaking up. Geez.

~“I Hope” – One of my long-term patients came in with the sniffles and saying he had a cold. While generally we frown upon patients coming that are sick, I’m not going to turn them away unless they had a fever. Went through the appointment, everything was fine, when he got up to leave, I cheerfully said to him, “I hope you kick it soon!” He turned with a frown and I suddenly realized what I’d said and tried to save it quickly with, “THE COLD. I hope you kick THE COLD soon!” *Facepalm*

~Deeper – I was seeing a patient that I cringe whenever I see his name on my schedule. Things were going okay and he told me, as I was doing his lower front teeth, that he gets “a perverse pleasure” whenever those teeth are cleaned so long as it doesn’t hit his gums because he can’t stand that feeling. I, personally, love cleanings, so I told him that my favorite place is in his place in the whole office because I love cleanings. I said, “I love it. You could dig at me all day and I’m like, ‘Go harder! Go Deeper!'” I froze as soon as I said that and on any other patient it might go over well, albeit awkwardly. He, of course, got this nasty smile on his face after I said that while I pretended that it was totally normal what had just come from my mouth. Geez.

~Arm Punch – After my first date with my ex-boyfriend, we had definitely felt the spark. He drove me home from the day’s adventures and I was freaking out about how to end the date. What do I do? We were kind of sitting there in front of my house in his truck and he turned towards me with anticipation, I panicked, thanked him and punched him in the arm before hopping out and running to my house. His face was priceless when I did that, one of utter shock mixed with amusement. I’m laughing writing about it now. He never did let me live that down.

~Parallel Parking a Honda Fit – I was trying to park my mom’s Honda Fit on the street. I mean, it’s a Honda Fit. It’s tiny, but I’m a terrible parallel parker. Regardless, I thought that even I should be able to park the car and the spot I’d seen while walking the dogs seemed perfect. I drove out and proceeded to back in just like I was taught all of those years ago. I think I corrected like 10 times before I saw some people staring at me mouth agape. Embarrassed, I drove off and found a really huge spot even though it was farther away. Parked, and realized that even though I thought I was really close to the cars in front and behind me, when I stepped outside, I was parked in a spot big enough for 3 cars. After fixing myself, I walked back to the place I initially tried to park in and immediately facepalmed myself. Two sedans in the mean time had parked themselves neatly in it. Ugh. No wonder those people were staring.

~Eating Pillow – I was dreaming about eating my aunt’s holiday desserts. I crammed them all in my mouth because they were so good, but suddenly I was choking. I could not breathe, but I kept chewing and trying to swallow because I didn’t want to spit them out they were so good. I kept choking and choking until I woke up and found that I’d been eating my pillow. The part of the pillowcase that I was trying to eat had been tightly twisted and was completely soaked in my saliva. I was astounded and extremely embarrassed that I could have passed out from dream-eating.

~Class Rank – It was my high school graduation. I attended that high school from 10-12 grade, having been a freshman at a different school with the people I grew up with. I’d never fit in well at the new school at all (not only was my economic class different, but I was one out of 5 total Asians in the school) but I was okay with my small group of friends. They were awarding medals to the top 10 students. I’d orchestrated my 5th place rank (to ensure I’d neither be Valedictorian nor Salutatorian) and was proud of myself. As I strutted up to accept my rank and medal, I heard not-so-soft whispers all around me asking, “Who is that? Who IS that???” Admittedly, it put a nervous damper on my excitement, but not too much because I realized I’d never have to care about those people and their opinions anymore.

~Umbrella Hat – I was super excited about my new purchase from Amazon of a rainbow colored umbrella hat. It would make walking my 2 dogs in the rain a cinch! Both hands free, no need for a rain jacket in the summer, and staying dry? YES! Well I put it on my head one rainy morning and left to walk my 2 pups. They, of course, had zero care and I was so proud of myself. We rounded the corner at the busy 4-way stop, and there was this kid riding by on his bike (maybe 10 or 12 or so) he coasted slowly by, mouth completely agape, eyes wide, staring at me. My pride wavered but I told myself that was just a kid and I didn’t care about his judgement. The self-consciousness was starting to settle in, though, and I turned around to go home. A couple cars passed by and hit the brakes as they caught sight of me, driving suspiciously slowly as if someone was taking pictures inside or laughing. Not just one car. A couple cars. *sigh* Needless to say, that was the first and last time I ever wore that umbrella hat in public.

~Oniony Goodness – I was in college, the weather was warm, and I’d went down to the male floor to visit some guy friends. He One of them definitely had a crush on me and I was kind of feeling it out. I poked my head in to give them something (a message or an item I can’t remember) and was about to leave when I caught the scent of some food. I figured they had just ordered some Chinese eggrolls because it was really a very oniony smell and I could just picture the duck sauce in my head. I inhaled deeply and said, wow, something smells fantastic like eggrolls, I’m getting hungry. There was a tenseness in the room and no one said anything. I was confused by the awkwardness when it hit me that it wasn’t eggrolls at all. It was body odor. Sweat. Specifically John’s armpit sweat. I quickly closed the door and about died against the wall before racing upstairs back to my room to finish dying there.

~Bad Listener – Stuff like this happens on numerous occasions especially at work since I listen to a LOT of small talk and random crap that patients spout at me. There are some very talkative people out there. One particular day I was so over everything and was only half-listening to what people were saying to me. Most of the time, a well placed, “ohh!” or “Wooow,” or “that’s crazy!” is sufficient for most conversations so that I can get back to doing my job quickly. I decided to laugh after a patient was saying something and said something along the lines of “that’s funny/interesting” before trying to get my instruments back into her mouth to work. She pulled back to the side a little, looked pointedly at me, and stated, “I said my mother just died.” I froze, humiliated by my crassness, and apologized. The patient seemed to quickly forgive me (it’s nice when patients like you) and I strove to pay more attention after that.

~Real Job – I worked seasonal retail once and not only did I gain the favor of management, but of higher-level associates. One team lead in particular was very fond of me and had me work with her at customer service often. Season ended, and most people weren’t invited back. Though I was, I turned it down because I gained more hours in the career I went to school for. I came back one time to the store to buy something and ran into the team lead I’d worked with. She was excited to see me, and I was glad to see her too. She asked me why I wasn’t working for them anymore and though I meant something different, what came out of my mouth was, “Oh, I got a real job.” WTF. What I had meant to say was that I’d landed a regular job, but it mixed in there with I now work in my real career aspirations. It came out VERY wrong, and her face fell immediately. There was NO WAY to take back what I’d said, no way to correct it anymore, and I just felt like scum. Absolute scum. Shortly thereafter, the company went out of business, but it still haunts me.

Namariel Legends Iron Lord Written Walkthrough (Nintendo Switch)

written 7/27/25, updated 7/29/25

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  • Published: Joindots
  • Platform Played: Nintendo Switch
  • Price: $11.99 MSRP: $15.99
  • Rated: E10+ (Everyone 10+) for fantasy violence
  • Genre: Adventure
  • Date Released: March 30, 2023

This is a written walkthrough for Namariel Legends Iron Lord by Joindots GmbH (Germany) and Shaman Games, played on the Nintendo Switch. It’s not intended to necessarily help you solve puzzles as I tend to skip them when I find them irritating or difficult, but it does have some puzzle solutions

Game Start

What the intro cinematics

Fun Note: if you played Kingdom of Aurelia: Mystery of the Poisoned Dagger which was released for the Switch in March 2023, one month before this game, you would notice that the names are all a tad bit different

Uncle Davincino’s House

  • Listen to Uncle gripe
  • Take the Compass Needle and Teapot from the table
  • Back out
  • Take the Umbrella from the floor
  • Look at the 3 drawers on the floor to the left
  • Open the 1st and 3rd drawers
  • Take the Wing, Bolt, and Crystal
  • Use the Bolt to secure the handle to the middle drawer
  • Take the Wing and Crystal
  • Open the cupboard up high on the left wall, move the dishes, take the Rung
  • Look at the table closest to you and take the Rung
  • Place the Crystal x2 and assemble the Mindscope (there are instructions, but it’s super simple even without them)
  • Use the Umbrella on the square thing on the upper right and pull it down
  • Open it up
  • Use the Mindscope on the Aira creature
  • Click on her and free her tail
  • Take the Oil Can and give it to Uncle Davicino
  • Go out the door, click on the little robot
  • Click on Aira
  • Pick up Rung x3 from underneath her, across the deck, and over on the left pulley
  • Use the Rung x5 on the holes in the wall
  • Climb up
  • Take the Board and Bird, then look at the picture
  • Use the Board on the deck to get the Iron
  • Place the Iron on the pulley to open the hatch
  • Go down
  • Take the Bicycle Chain from the water basin, use it on the windmill pulley
  • Take the Scissors
  • Go back into the house, use the Scissors on the Air Balloon to get it and a Faucet Handle
  • Use the Faucet Handle above the funnel outside the door, turn it on
  • Go down the hatch
  • Use the Teapot on the water basin, take the Acorn
  • Look under the tree roots. Use the Acorn to lure Aira out and get a Bird
  • Return to the house and use the Teapot of Water on the 2 cylinders on the table
  • Grab the Bird
  • Use all 3 Birds on the cage next to Uncle

Bird Puzzle!

Move the parts until all the birds are properly assembled color and motif

Hint: The bodies and legs do not swap

  • Take the Lighter
  • Go back out to the tree
  • Use the Wing x2 on the structure on the left
  • Use the Air Balloon on the rope ladder on the ground, turn the lever, then use the Lighter
  • Pull the rope on the structure
  • Take the Tweezers and Puzzle Piece from the bag
  • Look in the tree hollow while you’re up there, remove the leaves, and take the Robot
  • Give Uncle the robot, and he’ll give you another Puzzle Piece
  • Use Puzzle Piece x2 on the green box on the counter

Impossible Puzzle!

Not only do I hate puzzles like this, but the Switch controls make this literally impossible, so I skipped it

  • Give Uncle his Glasses because he couldn’t do any of this himself for whatever reason
  • Watch the cutscene. Oh no!

Escape Imprisonment!

  • Pull the chain, pick up the Coin, and use it on the grate to get Jim
  • Use Jim to hit the button
  • Take the Circular Saw and Stun Gun from the creepy chair
  • Look through the door
  • Use the Circular Saw on the door grates (how’d no one hear that?)
  • Send Jim through
  • Head out
  • Go down the hall
  • Use Jim on the iron breaker robot
  • Pick up the Film and use it on the only unlit projector
  • When you’re ready, hit the green button
  • This part is time sensitive: when the robot turns around, grab the Safe Key
  • Use it on the upper left portion of the red machine
  • Take the Dynamite Stick, use it on the table you got the film from, and paint it white and black
  • Hit the green button again for another timed event
  • Replace the birch stick on the conveyor belt with the Painted Dynamite Stick
  • Then hit the blue button
  • Watch it blow up, then pick up the Lighted Gear from the dismembered robot arm
  • Go back to the hallway and use it on the leftmost wall

Color Spin Puzzle!

Spin them around until the colors match

  • Use your new Wrench on the broken robot head, then take the Metal Plate
  • Open the grate on the pipe to the left of the red cylinder, and take the Blinds Lever
  • Back in the hallway, use it on the louvres
  • Zap the robot worm with the Stun Gun
  • Take the Starting Cord and Token
  • Go back into your cell, and use the Token under the creepy chair
  • Take the Stack of Papers to the room with the robot, and use it on the leftmost part of the room which is a shredder
  • Use a piece of paper, then pull the cord
  • When the machine comes out, quickly inspect it and hit the red button to turn it off (if it runs away, just do it again)
  • Open the hatch, take the Acorn, then take the Vacuum Cleaner
  • Go back into the hallway
  • Use the Vacuum Cleaner on the floor grate
  • Turn it on, turn it off, open the hatch, take the Metal Plate
  • Go back and use the Metal Plate x2 on the hamster wheel where Aira is waiting
  • Entice her with the Acorn and she’ll give you the code: 8, 0, 3
  • Input this into the wall next to the fan
  • Follow the rodent
  • Pick up the Book
  • Open the machine, take the Wire Cutters
  • Use the Starting Cord, pull it, then pull the switch
  • Take the Empty Bottle
  • Look at the newly grown tree and take the Blue Flowers x5
  • Take the Yellow Moss from the pot with the Venus fly trap
  • Look upwards and use the Wire Cutters on the wire holding the grate closed
  • Take the Solvent and Red Berries x4
  • Look at the apparatus on the table
  • Use the Red Berries, Yellow Moss, Blue Flowers, and Empty Bottle
  • Combine them, boil the solution, then take the Growth Promoter
  • Use it on the apparatus
  • Go back to where you blew up the robot and use the Solvent on the spilled glue
  • Pick up the Switch and go back to the plant room
  • Use it on the control panel: spin the dial, then press the arrows
  • Watch the cutscene
  • Take the Clock Key from the robot’s remains
  • Go forward
  • Take the Book from the coffee table
  • Take the Spyglass and note the flags
  • Take the Hook from the wall next to the boar’s head
  • Inspect the globe

Flag Puzzle!

Referring to the flags found earlier, press the countries in the correct order

  • With the 3rd Book in hand, zoom into the shelf on the right side of the room and place all 3 there

Book Puzzle!

Order the books to make a picture

Hint: There’s a useful image on the wall in the back

  • Use your new Seahorse on the desk clock
  • Rotate them until they click, then use the Clock Key
  • Take the Glove back a room to get the UV Lamp
  • Go use it on the desk lamp
  • Press the handprint
  • Take the Weed Killer, go backwards, and use it on the thorns (up high)
  • Bring the Torn Page back to the book and use it. Note the clues on both pages
  • Inspect the gold statue next to the door

Move the Statue Puzzle

Self-Explanatory

  • Go through the door
  • Click on Marcus who seems to be very nearsighted
  • Look at the left of the screen

Maze Puzzle!

Nothing to it

The chain in my game kept going distractingly bananas, though it didn’t affect anything

  • Behind that hatch, place the Telescope
  • Look at the periscope (mid-left of the room)
  • Use the Hook on the yellow-striped thing, lift up the periscope and let is sit on the hook, and take the Boar Fang
  • Look at the steering controls
  • Open the glass dome, place the Compass Needle, and take the Propeller
  • Look to the left side of the wheel

Cylinder Puzzle

Turn the sections of the middle until you can drag the red handle all the way over to the right

  • Now you’re ready for…

Coordinates Puzzle

This one is in 3 parts and relate to the invisible ink clue from before. In the cockpit are 3 viewing points that you have now unlocked. They have numbers underneath and you need to set their viewpoints correctly using the clue from before.

NOTE: Make sure you press the number when it starts to blink gold or it won’t count

Hint:

1: X= 50; Y= -50

2: X= -90; Y= -50

3: X= 40; Y= 40

  • Go back to the office and use the Boar Fang for another Propeller
  • Back in the cockpit, look at the left side of the room under the glass
  • Use the Propellers

Propeller Puzzle!

Remember those viewpoints from the viewer puzzle above? This is where you’ll need those clues. When you’re done placing the propellers, flip the switches

Hint:

1: Yellow and Green

2: White and Red

3: Orange and Blue

  • Take the Bathyscaphe (def: “a self-propelled vehicle used for deep-sea dives”)
  • Go back to the office and use it on the aquarium

Bathyscaphe Puzzle

Lots of these all of the sudden, huh…? You have to navigate 6 rounds of this game to move the vessel by controlling bubble jets

Round 1

Round 2A – Get the Key

Round 2B – Unlock the Door

Round 3A – Get the Clip

Round 3B – Place the Clip

Round 3C – Escape

  • Receive for your efforts the Captain’s Keycard
  • Use it on the elevator panel

Color Snake Puzzle

Move the colored balls around until the proper colors sit in the proper places. This one’s really not too bad

  • Use the lift to go down

Somehow they just got Uncle out of his cell? After all of that time of solving endless puzzles and such? …Hmm… perhaps they tortured him…?

  • Use the Captain’s Keycard again
  • Go into Uncle’s cell, look at the bed for some Bulbs, and take the Hose from the window

Color Snake #2 Puzzle

This one is a tad harder, but not by much

How did they use the machine without these bulbs?

  • Go through the door. Too late again!
  • Try to use the lever, but with your accursed luck, there’s now a bone stuck in the gear mechanism
  • Look at the second lever on the lever machine
  • Use the Tweezers for a Fuse, then open the hatch for an Empty Blowtorch
  • Go backwards to the room where you blew up the robot earlier, and place the Empty Blowtorch near the red canister
  • Place the Hose, then turn the valve
  • Use your new Full Blowtorch on the grate in the middle of the pipe out on the dock
  • Send Jim into the hole
  • It’ll launch an Iron Bone from the gears
  • Pull the red lever
  • Inspect the control panel to the right
  • Hit the red button
  • Break the glass with the Iron Bone, remove the broken fuse, place a new Fuse
  • Hit the red button again
  • Look at the side of the cable car, open the hatch cover, insert the plug
  • Go inside
  • Underneath the seat, open the wolf mouths and insert the Iron Bone
  • Take the Ladder
  • Use the Glove on the broken glass to the left for Broken Glass
  • Take the Ticket from the wall
  • Back on the dock, use the Ladder on the left side

Fill in the Spaces Puzzle

This is one of those snake puzzles where you need to fill all the spaces. Super simple

  • Take the Magnet and Handle
  • Return to the cable car
  • Use the Magnet on the other broken glass (aim it at the hole) to get some Punches
  • Inspect the controller
  • Turn off 7 valves, then use the Handle on the last one
  • Inspect the ticket there, but it’s ripped, so…
  • Back out again to where you got the blowtorch, and use the Punches on the gold thing with holes
  • Use the Ticket

Punch Puzzle

With the torn ticket as a guide, slide the punch shapes around until you get the exact match. Hit the red button when you’re done

The controls are incredibly finicky, but generally, try to do the farthest ones first

  • Return to the cable car
  • Zoom in on the control station

Start Engine Puzzle

Using the clue from the chair, set everything in the proper positions and use the Ticket in the slot

After Them!

  • Watch the cutscene
  • Take the Lamp from the table
  • Use the Broken Glass on the burlap sack
  • Take the Grate Key
  • Take the Gun and Emblem
  • Use the Gun in the hangar on the barrel on the left
  • Go up the ladder
  • Take the Puzzle Piece and the Leather Bag
  • Use the Leather Bag on the pile of sand on the ground
  • Open the lid to the hourglass on the table, use the Bag of Sand, then close the lid
  • Open the capsule for a Puzzle Piece
  • Use both Puzzle Pieces on the lock on Aira’s cage

Tetris Puzzle

Let’s play some tetris!

  • Take the Ring back to the cable car and use it on the floor grate
  • Use the Lamp x2 on the control tower

Assembly Puzzle

Assemble the helicopter according to the instructions

  • Board the aircraft, hit the red button, look at the handy instructions
  • Can’t go anywhere without fuel, so grab the Boat Hook
  • Head back to the cable car, go up the ladder
  • Use the Boat Hook on the pin to release it
    • Press the button
    • Watch the cutscene
    • Go back to the cockpit
    • Start the engine using the clue

Engine Start #2 Puzzle

  • Off we go!

Get the Airship Working

  • Try to move forward
  • Watch the cutscene
  • Go forwards
  • Take the Barrel Fragment from the ground
  • Take the Net from the scarecrow
  • Take the Can from the dock
  • Use Jim on the stump for a Hammer
  • Click on Pharion
  • Follow him
  • Listen to him
  • Look on the left shelf and press the 5 books back into place
  • Use the Hammer on the back wall, take the Nails, and take the Book of Constellations
  • Use the Book of Constellations on the stand to the left

Rotation Puzzle

You have to rotate the image until you get the picture shone in the book

  • Take the Crystal
  • Go out of the hut and try to cross the bridge
  • Try to pick up the hat
  • Take the Weight from the far-left railing
  • Go back inside, and use it on the clock
  • Inspect the top of the clock

Event Sequence Puzzle!

Figure out the sequence of events

Solution: Arrow to Archer > Tip the Bucket > Ingot on Anvil > Sword to Knight > Click on Knight > Open Door

  • Go back onto the deck
  • Use the Net then the Needle on the hat on the ground to get a Beekeeper’s Hat
  • Return to outside
  • Use the Crystal on the ground and take the Sun
  • Go out to the shed and use the Beekeeper’s Hat
  • Pick up the Sticky Padlock
  • Use the Barrel Fragment, Nails, and Hammer on the broken hive
  • Look at the big creature, take off the tarp, and take the Arrow
  • Go towards the shed, then past that to the kitchen
  • Take the Bow String
  • Back up and use the Sticky Padlock on the anthill to get a Padlock
  • Go back to the deck
  • Use the Bow String and Arrow on the mounted crossbow
  • Lower the latch on the bridge and use the Padlock
  • Go into the observatory
  • Take the Whirligig, Bellows, and the Garden Shovel
  • Backtrack to the scarecrow
  • Place the Whirligig on the stick for a Float and Hook
  • Use the Garden Shovel, then Can on the ground for a Can of Worms
  • Go towards the dock
  • Place the Can of Worms on the wood, then the Float and Hook on the end of the fishing pole
  • Here’s a rather tedious Mini Game. Catch 5 Fish, but make sure to pull when the float goes underwater or you’ll miss
  • Head to the kitchen
  • Place the Fish in the pan, put that in the oven, then use the Bellows
  • Deliver the Fried Fish to the observatory creature
  • Use the Eyepiece on the telescope
  • Note the image there
  • Look at the gold thing to the right of the telescope
  • Use the Sun

Orbit Puzzle

Place the colored gems according to the clue

  • Take the Recipe
  • Head over to the kitchen with it, and use it on the board

Make the Cake

Just follow the instructions to make a fruit cake for the big beast

Solution:

Dough + Strawberries + Pears + Cherries

Dough + Apple + Pineapples + Bananas

Dough + Icing

Bake

  • Deliver the Cake to the beast in exchange for a Bell
  • Place it on the deck
  • Ring it
  • Watch the cutscene
  • Take the Shield
  • Go up to the left
  • Use the Shield on the figure to the right to get the Assegai (polearm used for throwing from South Africa)
  • Go backwards
  • Use the Assegai on the crevice to get the Glowworm (It looks more like a beetle than a glow worm)
  • Place the Glowworm in the skull of the door
  • Go inside
  • Use the Assegai on the hanging net to get a Pumpkin
  • Go outside and use the Pumpkin on the scale
  • Take the Lid and Honey Dipper
  • Go inside
  • Place the Lid on the cauldrn
  • Use the Assegai on the rope
  • Look at the broken mask on the ground
  • Take the Pear
  • Feed it to the unhappy snail from before
  • Go up the new path
  • Use the Honey Dipper on the sap on the ground
  • Have Jim grab the rope on the right side
  • Zoom in on the winch and tie the rope
  • Go across the bridge
  • Use the Emblem on the door
  • Pick up the Rusty Razor
  • Go back to the hut
  • Use the Rusty Razor on the grinding wheel
  • Go out, use the Razor on the skin
  • Place the Skin next to the broken drum on the table
  • Remove the ring, then the broken skin from the drum
  • Use the Razor
  • Place the new skin, then the ring, take the Drum
  • Place it with the other 2
  • Use Sticky Sap to repair the broken mask
  • Give the Mask to the creature

Play the Drum Game

Repeat the sequence

Hint: the cauldron always shows the next color, so you don’t need to memorize it

Round 1: Blue, Yellow, Red, Red, Blue; or Blue Yellow, Red, Red, Blue

Round 2: Yellow, Red, Yellow, Yellow, Red

Round 3: Blue, Yellow, Blue, Red, Yellow, Red, Red

  • Head back to where the winch is
  • Place the Idols on the 3 platforms and play the Minigame
  • Go into the hole
  • Use Jim on Aira
  • Play the game where you herd the dandelion things into the flowers THREE times
  • Then move all three flowers until the leaves open
  • Go up
  • Look to the north of the room

Water Puzzle!

Swap the tiles until the water flows into every root

Hint: You only need to move 2 tiles

  • Take the Ladle from the bottom of the room
  • Go back up and use it to catch Tree Blood
  • Go back to where you got the ladle and use the Tree Blood
  • Send Jim down

Traveling Puzzle!

Move Jim to the key without getting hit by the bugs

The controls are terrible, so I skipped it

  • Head back up to the tree heart and use the new Leech Key
  • Take the Tree Shoot
  • Back way up to the beginning of the level
  • Use the Tree Shoot at the robot’s foot
  • Watch the cutscene
  • Open the hatch
  • Watch another cutscene
  • Take the Empty Power Unit from the cockpit
  • Use it on the hatch to the left for a Power Unit
  • Go all the way forward to the airship
  • Remove the old unit and place the Power Unit
  • Take the Rope Ladder and use it in the crevice in the snail room
  • Go down
  • Shake the flower, then take the Flower

Find the Fuzzy Things Puzzle!

Find all 23 Woobies (sorry, I never took a screenshot and realllly don’t want to play this again. They’re easy to find)

  • Go back to the airship
  • Use the Woobies then the Flower inside the balloon

Save Uncle!

  • You can’t do anything, so move forwards
  • Pick up the Halberd, Chain, and Bucket
  • Go back, inspect the bell shaped thing in the back
  • Use the Chain then plug in the power cord
  • Take the Crystal
  • Crank the door on the right and use the Halberd
  • Go through
  • Click on the robot’s head, open it, and take the Spring
  • Use the Crystal
  • Click on the robot again
  • Take the Mongoose
  • Inspect the furnace
  • Take the Coal Shovel and Pick Head
  • Use the Bucket under the green valve and fill it to get a Bucket of Water
  • Go back a room
  • Use the Bucket of Water on the trough
  • Take the Clay
  • Use the Mongoose on the magnetic crane in the back
  • Take the Robot Head
  • Play the Minigame
  • Talk to the kid
  • Look in the busted airship for a Pipe
  • Go back to the elevators and use the Robot Head, then Pick Head on the broken robot
  • Click on it
  • Use the Coal Shovel to get Coal
  • Talk to the kid
  • Try to go up the elevator by turning the keys
  • Take the Broken Keys
  • Get back to the workshop
  • Inside the drum, place the Clay on the top rack, then the Broken Keys on the bottom

Key Puzzle!

Pair the key pieces to make 3 keys

  • Go over to the furnace, use the Coal, then place the metal bars
  • Zoom into the green valve spot, use the Pipe, turn on the water
  • Take the Key Castings over to the anvil and have the robot break them
  • Bring your Keys over to the elevator and ride it up
  • Take the Chisel, then use it in the pipe to your left
  • Take the Sheetmetal, back out, and use it at the cart tunnel entrance
  • Pull the lever
  • Use Jim to pull the ladder down on the other side
  • Climb up and watch the cutscene

The Iron Lord is some loser???

  • Take the Bellows on the ladder
  • From the bottom of the ladder, take the Crowbar and Gas Cylinder
  • Use the Gas Cylinder on the handy receptable next to the ladder
  • Connect the hose, turn the valve
  • Use the Crowbar on the crate across the bridge
  • Pick up the other Bellows
  • On the nearest platform, use the Bellows x2 on the pump
  • Hit the button
  • Use the Crowbar on the lever on the wall
  • Go forward

Ewwww the Loser is taking a super long shower…

  • First, go up the stairs
  • Take the Lunch Schedule from the bed
  • Go back downstairs
  • Take a look at the hatch next to the fireplace
  • Go into the suit, take the Clock Key, and use it on the clock

Clock Puzzle – Dinner

Solution: 6:40

  • Take the Champagne, use it on the grate next to the shower (Even boiling water didn’t phase the weirdo)
  • Take the Sponge, use it on the meal menu
  • Place the Lunch Schedule

Clock Puzzle – Breakfast and Lunch

Solution: 8:45 & 1:25

  • Take the Banana Peel and Fork
  • Go back upstairs
  • Use the Banana Peel under the door
  • Take the Access Card
  • Pull back the green curtain, use the Fork

Path Puzzle

Place the tracks such that the robot mouse will reach the remote

Hint: There’s only 1 solution and all tracks will be used

  • You get the Mechanical Rat and Remote Control for your efforts
  • Use the Access Card to open the door
  • Pull out the Remote Control

Platform Moving Puzzle

Move the platforms into their proper places

  • Take the Handle from the sphere

Sailboat Puzzle

Swap and rotate the discs to make images

  • Use the Handle on the door to the right
  • Go in
  • Use the Mechanical Mouse on the dog
  • Pick up the Bulldog Head
  • Use it on the chain at Uncle’s feet
  • Click on Aira
  • Take the Valve Handle and Brush
  • Use the Bulldog Head on the acorn for a Crystal (don’t ask questions, just go with it)
  • Go back to the prior room
  • Look at the mechanism to the left
  • Use the Spring and Valve Handle
  • Turn the handle
  • Go up
  • Take the Anchor and use the Brush
  • Go back to Uncle’s cell
  • Use the Anchor on the Ship to get it
  • Use the Ship on the giant sphere
  • Take the Book Key
  • Go back to the shower room where Loser still has no clue what’s going on
  • Talk to Uncle
  • Use the Book Key, take the Eye
  • Place the Eye in the statue

Statue Eye Puzzle

Using the clue from before, change the color of the eyes

  • Take the Mechanical Heart back to the Iron Lord suit
  • USE IT

That was… anticlimactic.

  • Now that the way is clear, head to past where the guards were (generously leaving the mechanical heart inside of the Iron Lord suit…)
  • Oh look, you have to do all the work again…
  • Take the Helmet from the robot on the right
  • Take the Palm Leaves from the tree
  • Go back to the fireplace and use the Helmet
  • Head forward to the crystal room
  • Zoom into the grate in the back
  • Use the Hot Coals and Palm Leaves
  • Take the accessible Axe and use it on the power unit on the ground
  • Use the Crystal on the control panel for…

Last Puzzle!

Is… this minesweeper? No. Connect the colored numbers together. Each number tells you how many blocks to fill without crossing

Hint: 1 and 7 are easiest to do first

MAIN GAME COMPLETE!

Bonus Game

Start

  • Take the Mechanical Heart from the debris
  • Take the Wrench from the trough
  • Go across the walkway
  • Pick up the Corkscrew
  • Use the Mechanical Heart on the crane
  • Take the Cannonball
  • Retrieve the Mechanical Heart
  • Go backwards
  • Use the Cannonball on the pipe to the left
  • Use the Mechanical Hand on the wooden door
  • Inside, pick up the Putty Knife
  • Back out and use it on the trough
  • Place the Cement in the Iron Lord’s hands, then pull the lever
  • Pick up the Star
  • Go back through the door
  • Inspect the smaller barrel
  • Use the Wrench
  • Use the Corkscrew
  • Use the Star on the box

Shape Puzzle!

Even with the instructions, the controls were impossible to work, so I just skipped it

  • Use the new Binoculars across the

Number Code Puzzle

Find the 3 numbers to unlock the lock

Solution: The tower (4), the balloon (7), the boat (8)

  • Board the vessel, take the Matches, then use the Mechanical Heart
  • Full steam ahead (like, what… 20 feet?)!
  • Take the String Bag
  • Go forward
  • Take the Slingshot from the railing
  • Take the Straw from the pigeon nest
  • Use the Slingshot on the gargoyle above the ladder
  • Take the Paper Clip
  • Go back, use the Straw on the downspout
  • Use the Paperclip on the lantern
  • Use the Candle on the chimney
  • Take the Button
  • Go forward, use the Beetle on the pigeon
  • Take the Horn
  • Use the Button on the bag on the railing
  • Take the Spike and Arrow
  • Go back, use the Spike on the downspout
  • Use the Horns x2 on the cow gargoyle
  • Go back, use the Ring on the little door
  • Take the Gunpowder and Bedsheets
  • Use the String Bag on the cannonballs
  • Go forward, use the Bag of Cannonballs on the hook
  • Go forward
  • Use the Arrow on the device to the right
  • Take the Acid, use it on the device to the left
  • Get a Ball, take the Saw Blade
  • Use the Spike on the right to get a Spring
  • Use the Spring and Ball on the device to the right
  • Pull the lever
  • Go up the ladder
  • Place the Saw Blade into the saw for a Hacksaw
  • Use the Bedsheets on the window for a Kettle
  • Take the Tied Sheets
  • Use the Kettle and Matches on the table
  • Use the Boiling Water on the teacup near the mirror
  • Go back

Symbol Puzzle

Using the clue, swap the buttons into the correct order

I thought it was going to be backwards or something because of the mirror, nope.

  • Take the Key
  • Go backwards, use the Tied Sheets on the ladder
  • Take the Gear
  • Go back to the boat and take the Mechanical Heart
  • Keep going through the wooden door in the beginning
  • Use the Key

Guide the Lock Puzzle

Guide the thing to the bottom, clicking on the moving spears to keep them back.

  • Place the Gear in the machine
  • Pick up and place all 6 sections of the pipe
  • Take the Shovel
  • Use the Hacksaw on the large piece of wood
  • Use the Mechanical Heart on the lift

Oh look, we’re back in the castle

  • Go to the crystal room ahead
  • Take the Tongs and Shard from the wall
  • Take the Shard from the device up north
  • Go to Uncle’s cell to the right
  • Take the Mechanical Mouse, Syringe, and Hammer
  • Use the Tongs on the dog’s body for a Key
  • Take the Screwdriver from under the burlap
  • Return to the crystal room
  • Use the Syringe on the power unit liquid
  • Go back a room to the statue and use the Liquid Power
  • Take the Canister back to the crystal room, and use it up north
  • Take the Full Cylinder to the cell and use it on the pipe under the sink
  • Break it with the Hammer and take the Chain
  • Head back to the crystal room to use the Chain on the ground
  • Break the glass to the left with the Hammer, then place the Arrestor Block
  • Pick up the Shards x6 from the ground
  • Undo the grate on the ground
  • Use the Mechanical Mouse and Key
  • Pick up the Shard
  • Use the Screwdriver on the robot
  • Place the Robot Eye into the dog in the cell
  • Take the Shard
  • Go back down the lift and use the Shards x10 on the door panel in the room with the barrels

Crystal Puzzle

Place the crystals to make up the shape

  • Go through the door
  • Take the Rocket Cone from the box in the back
  • Use the Shovel in the cart
  • Take the Rocket Body
  • Inspect the table and place the Rocket Cone and Rocket Body

Rocket Assembly Puzzle!

Follow the instructions to assemble the rocket

Solution: rocket body + fins > scoop + gunpowder > endcap > dip fuse (string) into glue + gunpowder > place fuse into rocket body

  • Place Rocket onto cart
  • Light with Matches
  • Move forward
  • Oh no! Final Battle!
  • Use Jim on the board to the right
  • Take the Control Wheel then place it on the pillar
  • Turn both wheels
  • Take the Wire Cutters from the mechanism
  • Use the Wire Cutters in the prior room
  • Use the Fire Extinguisher on the furnace
  • Use the Wire Cutters on the box to the left
  • Take the Projector Lamp, then use it on the light
  • Look at where the light is shining, note the numbers (583)
  • Return to the prior room and input the code into the box
  • Use the Dynamite and Matches on the rock
  • Go save your mom!

GAME COMPLETE!

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